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I want to be beautiful.

I want to be surrounded by beautiful things. it seems like our one goal in life is to find happiness, but i dont understand that. there are so many down times, where you just feel like you cant ever recover. the beauty of this, is that you always do. no matter how difficult and however impossible it seems…there is always a way to come back. you can always get up, and thats why we are amazing. in life, we always strive to better ourselves, and to find the perfect person for us. many people carry scars from this search, but in the end i think they are worth it. when you do finally find that perfect person, however impossible that may seem, you will reach your beautiful point in life. thats the splendid truth.

Art is my passion. It is what I do when I feel any emotion that I want to remember.

Can you think of a better feeling than being so completely immersed in a piece that you lose hours at a time? Think of a brush stroking paint onto a canvas, manipulating charcoal on a piece of paper, or simply discovering some new method that makes everything suddenly make sense.

Music, however, is what makes this passion possible. Just put on some good music, and you’re set. I don’t know what direction i’m going to go in life, but I do know that eventually I want to open art galleries. Maybe some smaller ones for the local artists, then bigger ones for the people who wish to venture out.

I have so much artistic energy, and just nowhere to put it.

Welcome to the world’s best and worst long-distance relationship. People always say that these relationships are pointless, and that they will nearly always fail…this is the closest I can get to disproving that common notion. Aaron and I have been dating for over a year, but for you to understand where in coming from, you’ll need to understand what makes us, us.

Every summer I teach art classes at a camp called The Fresh Air Fund, which is a non-profit organization for the inner-city children of New York City. I met Aaron and was immediately drawn to him. He is a 6′ tall, ginger-haired, English boy…he was the perfect mixture of mystery, brains, motivation, and body.

It began as just a fling, where we both avoided any mention of either the summer ending, or the possibility of a relationship. The summer had its ups and downs, and each turn in the road just brought us closer together. By the end of the summer we couldnt stand the thought of not being together. Even if we were going to be separated by an ocean, we still wanted to keep our connection.

The past year has been difficult, I wont lie about that, but it was all worth it. we have been able to talk via online chat and phone conversations, and have been able to make several visits to see each other. We have been lucky so far, but we’ll see how this next year goes.

I’m so worried that now that he’s gone off to school we won’t be able to make it work.